November 28, 2023 in Blog by Dee

Creating a Peaceful Environment in a Chaotic World

By: Centerstone

In a world with civil unrest, political disputes, and an endless stream of media, it can be easy for some of us to feel overwhelmed. Maintaining our peace in such a chaotic world can be a challenge, but it is possible and can be done in different ways to best benefit us and our mental health. According to Jayne Tingley, Director of Community Care at Centerstone, inner peace can best be described as balance in all areas of your life, even with the presence of stressors. A large part of achieving and maintaining inner peace is being able to recognize when and where to set boundaries and to accept the things that we cannot control.

Maintaining peace within our lives can be achieved within ourselves, in our homes, or with another person. One sign that your life may be lacking balance and peace is if your stressors are your primary focus. Luckily, there are several ways that we can check in with ourselves, and reclaim our feelings of peace.

1. Protect your space. Find a space in your home where you feel safe, and allow yourself to feel your feelings and be calm in this space. Whether you find comfort in a special blanket, scented candle, or song, try to surround yourself with these things while in your safe space.
2. Confide in your people. If your safe space is a person, you may find comfort in knowing that that person is there to listen without judgment. Connect with your people when you feel you need some extra support with managing life’s stressors.
3. Practice self-care! Self-care looks different for all of us, but it’s important to remember that it does not have to be extreme. “Make sure that every single day you have some time carved out solely focused on meeting your needs,” says Tingley. “Our needs can vary from one day to another, but making sure you have that time is important.” Catching up on your favorite show, treating yourself to your favorite food, or even doing a puzzle are all examples of self-care. Our needs can be met in different ways that work best for us.
4. Take time for yourself. Whether you take a hike, journal, meditate, or listen to your favorite podcast, finding pockets of peace throughout the day is key.

Another important component of protecting our inner peace is setting boundaries. Learn to say no firmly, but kindly. Know that it’s okay to step away from situations and people that interrupt your peace and that you don’t need justification to do so. If watching or reading the news is a stressor for you, consider changing the channel or reading a book instead. If you had a tough day at work, try to leave those feelings at the door by taking a few deep breaths, and entering your home with good intentions. If you are feeling overwhelmed with different aspects of life, consider taking a walk or calling a friend. Do whatever works best for you at that moment, but try to avoid excessive consumption of substances and screen time.

Practicing self-care and protecting our peace in a chaotic world is crucial. Giving in to certain stressors can be hard to avoid, and can cause feelings of uneasiness and anxiety; however, protecting your peace is possible.

November 28, 2023 in Blog by Dee

Understanding Toxic Positivity

By: Centerstone

Having an optimistic outlook on life can significantly impact our mental health for the better. However, we can actually experience too much positivity, to the point that it becomes toxic. It’s good to be able to see the silver lining through the storm clouds in life, but it’s also important to acknowledge that those storm clouds do exist. So, what is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity occurs when an individual or group discredits one’s ability to express negative emotions. People who show signs of toxic positivity tend to avoid emotions that they consider negative or unpleasant, such as anger or fear. Or, when they do experience a negative emotion, they may feel guilty for doing so. In turn, people who engage in toxic positivity tend to dismiss and suppress the unpleasant feelings of others, because they may have difficulty working through them.

Expressing thoughts and feelings of genuine gratitude and positivity can sometimes shift to different degrees of toxic positivity. This can happen when there is no acknowledgment or acceptance of one’s own hardships and struggles. “At its core, toxic positivity is a way for people to cope with things that they aren’t ready, willing, or able to face,” says Emily Brault, Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Centerstone. Ignoring the fact that negative emotions exist can be a defense mechanism to avoid unpleasant feelings.

A potential consequence of engaging in toxic positivity is that it can cause strain in relationships. If friends and family feel like they are not being heard, or are being dismissed, they may avoid approaching that person for support.

Because toxic positivity is usually a subconscious reaction, it may be beneficial for friends and loved ones to bring attention to this behavior. “Those who engage in toxic positivity may benefit from a level of accountability through self-reflection and check-ins with others in their lives, as well as with themselves,” adds Brault. This could be as simple as an internal self-check about your energy levels, mood, and stressors that may be impacting your ability to truly connect with those in your life. Those who are ready, willing, and able to manage their toxic positivity, should be able to acknowledge where their toxic positivity comes from, and why they may be engaging in this behavior. In doing this, they can discover the root of the behavior and develop strategies for checking, challenging, and changing the behavior and understand the impact has on themselves and the people in their lives.

November 28, 2023 in Blog by Dee

Borderline Personality Disorder: Myth vs. Fact

By: Centerstone

Borderline Personality Disorder is a behavioral health condition that impacts a person’s ability to manage their emotions. Some common signs of Borderline Personality Disorder can include suicidal ideation, fear of abandonment, impulsivity, and difficulty managing change. Because of its complexity, Borderline Personality Disorder can sometimes be misdiagnosed as other conditions, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), or Bipolar Disorder. Not unlike many other behavioral health concerns, its multi-faceted symptoms have resulted in many harmful myths and misconceptions.

Myth: People with Borderline Personality Disorder are incapable of having stable relationships

Truth: “It can be more difficult, yes, but people with this condition are not incapable,” says Ken Lass, Ken Lass PhD Psychologist at Centerstone. With proper treatment and open communication, while more challenging, a healthy relationship is possible.

Myth: People with Borderline Personality Disorder are extremely difficult to treat

Truth: Because some people with Borderline Personality Disorder have a diagnosis as a result of past trauma, they may experience difficulty trusting their therapist, which can slow their progress. However, effective treatment is possible.

Myth: There are no good treatment options for Borderline Personality Disorder

Truth: Many mental health professionals have found success with Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) treatment. DBT utilizes distress tolerance skills to help people manage and regulate their emotions through practices like mindfulness, deep breathing, and self-talk. Though DBT is most common, providers have also seen success with Interpersonal Therapy, which is trauma-based. This type of therapy explores a person’s history and trauma experiences and dives deeper into how they developed Borderline Personality Disorder.

Medication can also sometimes be helpful in treating symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder such as depression and anxiety. However, medication alone isn’t as effective which is why therapy is a more common treatment.

Myth: People can only develop Borderline Personality Disorder as a result of trauma

Truth: Trauma creates a higher likelihood of the diagnosis, but it is not the only reason someone may develop it. If someone has experienced trauma, it doesn’t mean they’re going to develop a personality disorder. On the other hand, a personality disorder isn’t necessarily the result of a traumatic experience.

Myth: People with Borderline Personality Disorder can’t live independent lives

Truth: Many adults with this diagnosis work and have productive day-to-day lives. “With proper treatment, an independent life is more than possible,” adds Lass. However, substance use can be more common for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder because they may use it as a coping mechanism, so consistent support and treatment are key to healthy independence.

Myth: Only women can have Borderline Personality Disorder

Truth: While it is true that more women are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, men can develop this disorder as well. The ratio of this diagnosis is about 75% women to about 25% men.