January 13, 2023 in Blog by Dee

Mental Health Tips for Single Parents

By: Cornerstone

Families come in all shapes and sizes, including single-parent households headed by a widowed, divorced, or separated parent with children under 18. According to the U.S. Census, about three in ten families with children are headed by single parents. Some of the challenges that may come with single parenting are financial struggles, time management, and finding quality time for yourself or with other people.

“When you are a single parent, there can be a shortage in emotional and financial resources because you don’t have that second support person there to help, and that can take a toll on mental health,” says Sally Mondino, Early Head Start Manager at Centerstone.

Here are several ways for single parents to be mindful of their mental health:

• Include the kids. Children of single-parent households can learn and develop many great characteristics such as responsibility, independence, and compassion. Including children in your routine may help distribute the household responsibilities and can be another great way to spend quality time together.
• Schedule time for you. “Occasionally you can set aside time for self-care like reading a book or taking a relaxing bath after the children have gone to sleep,” says Mondino. “It’s also possible to incorporate self-care by letting your kids tag along with you for walks outside, cooking, and meal prepping.”
• Avoid comparing. “Try to avoid the tendency to compare yourself or your family with others,” says Mondino, “The key is to remind yourself that there are all kinds of families and every family can be different.” Social media may be misleading, and it is oftentimes a curated moment—try to avoid comparing those situations because people don’t tend to post the challenging moments in their life.
• Ask for help. Everyone needs help at some point or another. Research local resources that will benefit you and your family. Find financial assistance programs, family services, and hobbies, afterschool care programs, and others to help you along the way. Reach out to any family and friends that you are comfortable with asking for help.

At times, being a single parent may feel overwhelming and taxing to one’s mental health, but there are habits and resources to help manage along the way.

January 13, 2023 in Blog by Dee

Mental Health Tips for Step-Parents

By: Cornerstone

“Family” can hold a variety of meanings, roles, and relationships for everyone. One dynamic often overlooked is being a step-parent. Step-parents (or bonus-parents) are parental figures that are not biologically related to a child but linked through a relationship or marriage with a biological parent.

Movies, television, and society show a lot of different pictures of a step-parent that can be unpleasant. It can be a challenging new role to take on! “Step-parenting is met with many new obstacles, and there isn’t a lot of guidance available,” says Casey Stover, Family Life Educator, and Family Support Specialist at Centerstone. Some of the most common struggles step-parents often face include navigating each new relationship, adapting to their new roles, building a cohesive family structure, and maintaining patience and understanding through all of the transitions.

When faced with change, it is not uncommon to meet resistance and discomfort. Step-parents may often feel lost or struggle to figure out how to approach their new role; however, growing with each relationship can be rewarding and even bring healing. Benefits of being a step-parent may include bonding with a child or children that are not biologically your own, growing as a person while navigating various transitions, and ultimately becoming a family.

Here are some tips to help you in your journey in step-parenting:

• Patience is key. Consider that relationships with the child or children may not happen overnight; it will take time and work to build trust and establish boundaries early on. Children often have a lot of hesitations and may act out as they are adjusting to the transition—this doesn’t have to be something you take personally. It is important to try and give yourself as much patience and compassion as you would provide the children and your partner.
• Maintain self-care. Check in on yourself and how you are feeling. Try to do the things you love and maintain the aspects of your life before becoming a step-parent that brought you the most joy. Allowing yourself the space to have hobbies or take care of yourself will create more balance.
• Find support. Try to research what works well in other families, join virtual or in-person support groups, or talk to trusted friends or family members who might understand what you’re going through. If it becomes too overwhelming, try to seek help from a mental health professional or try out family counseling.
• Establish roles.  It is essential to set expectations for each other. “One of the most crucial keys for success is to take time with the biological parent to figure out your role(s) at the beginning, and how you will navigate that as a team,” says Stover. Every person will struggle at some point, so be mindful and listen when someone communicates their needs.

Remember that being a step-parent is a big transition and will not always be easy. Support and many resources are available to you and your family as you try to navigate this change.

January 13, 2023 in Blog by Dee

What is Trauma?

By: Cornerstone

Have you ever experienced an event that changed your life, and it still affects your well-being or day-to-day activities? It is likely that you might have experienced trauma. Trauma is an emotional response to the exposure of actual or perceived death, serious injury or sexual violence. Examples of traumatic events might include car accidents, accidental deaths, school shootings, physical or sexual assaults, natural disasters, life-threatening fires, kidnappings or exposure to war and combat.

Traumatic events may cause extreme levels of stress to an individual, and over time it has the ability to affect the way that someone might function or begin to cope with stressful situations. The important thing to remember is that no one is alone in their trauma, in fact, about six out of ten men and five out of ten women experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime.

Individuals who experience trauma might exhibit various symptoms while for others it might be more challenging to identify. “Some people might not realize that they have experienced trauma at all, so one of the ways to identify your trauma is by addressing the event and how it has impacted you,” says Venee Hummel, Assistant Director of Cohen Military Family Clinic at Centerstone. “These events might be something that directly happens to a person, something that is witnessed, something that is learned about that impacted loved ones or by experiencing repeated exposure to traumatic events due to occupation.”

Some of the symptoms that traumatic experiences might cause are recurring memories or nightmares, emotional or physical reactions, avoidance, lack of interest in hobbies or social interaction, mood swings, risky behaviors, trouble sleeping, or difficulty concentrating. If these symptoms persist for more than one month, this may be indicative of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) present, which may impact an individual’s ability to perform daily functions.

Here are some tips to consider when helping yourself or your loved ones cope with trauma:

• Offer support. Whether an individual or a loved one experienced the trauma, it is best to determine what kind of support would best suit them. Communicate what and how the needs might be met. Sometimes that might look like giving the individual space or offering a safe space to listen.
• Share education. Symptoms of trauma might look different for each individual. Try to learn the symptoms and triggers that go alongside trauma and PTSD. Share your knowledge with loved ones and community members. Sharing educational insight and pulling from experiences may encourage others to be more open about their own traumatic experiences. Learn to address stigmas with others that aren’t productive to conversations surrounding trauma.
• Seek treatment. “Sometimes it takes a while for self-awareness to catch up to us; it is not uncommon to be unaware of how trauma has started to shape our day-to-day functioning. Even if months or years have passed since the trauma(s), reach out,” says Hummel. Various methods of treatment that are commonly used for trauma or PTSD symptoms include specialized forms of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Traumatic experiences are life-altering, but there are resources available to help. Remember, you are worth it.

January 13, 2023 in Blog by Dee

How to Get Your Life Back Into Balance

By: Centerstone

Do you ever find yourself feeling exhausted or overwhelmed? Most people are busy with family, work, hobbies, or community responsibilities. Sometimes people allow their schedules to take control of their lives, and priorities might get disorganized. As a result, people may feel stressed, frustrated, and tired.

When your life is feeling a little imbalanced, it may feel as though you have neglected your needs, values, or priorities. Although it may be easy to feel regretful and burned out at that moment, you can still work toward achieving a sense of equilibrium.

The following practices will help bring balance back into your life:

• Be reasonable. People have a limit on resources like time, money, and energy. It is completely understandable to want to accomplish so many things; however, it is important to consider how much time is in a day. Know that you are one Erase the idea of perfection and problem-solving for others—it’s okay to not get everything done. You are doing your best.
• Find a support system. Find the people in your life who build you up and support you, who add value to your life and inspire you to be a better version of yourself. Try to avoid people who add or create more stress for you. Remember that stress will affect you physically, so, within reason, consider phasing out those who might be causing your stress or imbalance.
• Take control and say no. Often people say yes to others because there might be an unreasonable pressure to immediately please people. It is essential to consider your current list of responsibilities. Take time to think about what you can complete. Try to alleviate adding extra stress by learning how to say no.
• Make a schedule for rest. Resting doesn’t always have to equate to sleeping, but scheduling time to relax can be beneficial to your health. Intentionally do things that give you comfort, peace, health, and happiness. Make a deliberate effort to prioritize your needs.
• Focus on today. There will always be something that we will need to do, haven’t gotten to, or something we have always wanted to do. Try to avoid obsessing about the future, and focus on what is happening today. Creating a healthy, balanced life requires you to be present in your family, friends, hobbies, and work.

Remember there is more to life than the daily stressors that create imbalance and unhappiness. Start taking steps toward a more balanced life by learning how to take control, set boundaries, and focus on today.

January 4, 2023 in Blog by Dee

Feeling like a Fraud? It Might Be Imposter Syndrome

By: Centerstone

Doubting our abilities, lacking confidence, or feeling incompetent in the workplace can be signs of imposter syndrome and it’s a common mindset for many of us. Imposter syndrome affects about 70% of people at some point in their lives and the best way to overcome it is to better understand it. Below are answers to commonly asked questions about imposter syndrome that can help us all.

Q: What is imposter syndrome?

A: Imposter syndrome is the feeling of being less competent than you are, and can include a fear of being “found out,” that you’re not competent and that you are misleading people or inflating your abilities in some way.

Q: Who does imposter syndrome happen to?

A: Though imposter syndrome can be experienced by anyone, it is most commonly experienced by women and members of historically marginalized communities. For people in these communities, feelings of “otherness” can already be commonplace, especially depending on their role in the workplace.

Q: How does social media play a role?

A: Social media is a perfectly curated view into other people’s lives, oftentimes showing only positive highlights. This can give us an unrealistic view of real-life challenges and leave us feeling less than.

Q: Aside from social media, what else can trigger imposter syndrome?

A: As we learn more in life, we also become aware of things we didn’t know before. Instead of recognizing this as normal, those with imposter syndrome may begin to internalize it and start to believe that they don’t know as much as they think they do, and aren’t worthy of their professional roles.

Q: What can I do to overcome Imposter Syndrome?

A: Usually, imposter syndrome comes from a narrative we have in our heads without evidence, so ask yourself things like:

• Do I have a reason to believe this?
• Has my supervisor given me feedback that my performance is not meeting expectations?
• Have colleagues told me that my work is not up to par?

If you have no evidence, to support your self-doubt, you can then start crafting a more positive narrative about your competency. It’s important to remind yourself that if at any point you aren’t up to par or are underperforming in some way, it will be brought to your attention.

Sometimes imposter syndrome occurs when we’ve tried something new, and it didn’t go the way we expected it to. Mistakes are a very normal part of the learning process. When trying something new for the first time, we wouldn’t expect someone else to get it perfectly on their first try, so giving ourselves grace is key.