Browsing all articles from July, 2022
By: Caroline Ceniza-Levine
January is National Mentorship Month, so if you participate in an official mentor program or you just have people in your life who you regularly go to for advice, make sure to send out a special thanks! Mentor relationships are very helpful to your professional development, which is why many companies and outside organizations invest heavily in offering these programs. The best mentor relationship works for both you and your mentor. Here are 10 tips for a successful mentorship:
Clarify both of your expectations
Even if a company or organization put you together with your mentor, do not assume that you are both on the same page as to why you were matched. Let your mentor know what you are hoping to get out of the mentorship. For example, if you’re looking for help balancing work and life commitments, let them know that is your specific goal. Your mentor might assume you want advice on moving up in the organization or being a better manager. At the same time, ask your mentor what they want out of the program. Many mentors just want to give back since they benefited from a mentor themselves, but they may also have something you can help them with, and it’s a great way for you to let them know you want a two-way relationship.
Confirm the logistics
You may prefer live meetings, but this may be too difficult with your mentor’s schedule. Ask specifically how your mentor likes to meet – e.g., live, by phone or by video. If it’s very different than what you prefer, see how you can compromise – e.g., by mixing up the meetings. Confirm how frequently you will have scheduled meetings. Confirm if it’s okay to email or call in-between scheduled meetings. Don’t assume that your mentor likes to meet any specific way or frequency – always ask.
Help your mentor help you
Once you do settle on a goal for the mentorship and a cadence of meetings, you still need to specify what you need. Are you looking for encouragement or do you need something more hands-on? Are you looking for ideas and advice? Or maybe you have a specific idea already, and what you really want is to role play or refine how to execute on the idea. Your exact needs will likely differ from meeting-to-meeting or over the arc of your mentorship. The more explicit you can be, the easier it will be for your mentor to help you. They may be the type who is a natural cheerleader and not realize you want a devil’s advocate. Or they may be the type to jump into brainstorming mode and list out ideas, when you already have an idea and want help elsewhere. Help your mentor help you.
Take the initiative in scheduling
When you first meet, you might set a regular meeting day – e.g., last Tuesday of each month at lunch. More likely, you will schedule as you go. You might schedule the next meeting at the former meeting but this might still be too far in advance (or not enough time). Confirm with the mentor how far in advance they prefer to schedule. Put reminders in your calendar to reach out and schedule according to what you both agreed. If your mentor reaches out to you, be responsive.
Respect your mentor’s time
Responding in a timely fashion to your mentor’s outreach is one way of respecting their time. Coming to scheduled meetings on time, and sticking to the agenda and time agreed upon are also ways to respect their time. Showing effort or results in-between meetings is another way of letting your mentor know that time with you is time well spent. You don’t have to agree with or act upon everything your mentor says, but there should be some related movement in-between meetings so that the mentor knows your work together is having an impact.
Don’t ask for too much too soon
The best mentor relationships do have an impact. Please, don’t expect or ask for too much too soon. In the early days of your mentorship, focus on getting to know each other and on asking for answers to questions the mentor will know right then, with little preparation or extra work. You can then build up to more complex or time-intensive requests, such as feedback on your resume. Keep in mind that mentors warm up at their own pace. If you know the person already, they may be willing to jump right in and look at your resume or business plan at the first meeting. But if you don’t know the person at all and you were matched together by an outside program, then you want to ease into things.
Have fun
Part of building trust is getting to know each other. Make it part of each mentor meeting to focus, not just on business, but getting to know each other personally. Knowing more about your mentor will help you better communicate and may even give you more or different ideas on how you can collaborate. Letting your mentor know more about you will enable them to help you more effectively.
Keep your mentor informed
Your career is dynamic and changing, and you don’t see your mentor that often. You need to keep them informed, especially if your situation changes in a way that impacts the mentorship. For example, let’s say you were matched together a few months ago and you have been working on work/life issues, but then a spot opens up in your group that you didn’t realize you wanted but now you definitely do. Let your mentor know, even before the next meeting. This shifts what your focus is, and even if your mentor still wants to talk work/life balance, at least they’ll know you have other things on your mind.
Have a plan for when things go wrong
What if you want to shift the focus of the mentorship but your mentor does not? What if you have taken the initiative to set up meetings, show up prepared, but it’s your mentor who isn’t responsive? What if there is a change in situation and your mentor no longer fits your needs? Or what if you just have a personality clash? If you’re part of a structured program, find out who in the program can help you navigate any difficulties. See if there is already a process for making changes, or if you have to choose between leaving the program or staying in the current situation. Get outside assistance and prepare a heart-to-heart with your mentor. If the relationship isn’t working for you, it probably isn’t working for them. Clearing the air might fix it or, at least, give you both the opportunity to move on.
Reciprocate and give back
If things do work and you have a smashingly successful mentorship, don’t forget to pay it back. This includes asking your mentor how you can help them – do not assume that you have nothing to offer just because you’re more junior. This also includes being a mentor to others. I have worked with several mentorship programs (as mentor, mentee, and behind-the-scenes organizing), and most programs can always use more mentors.
By: Jennifer Hinders
Is contentment possible?
You can find plenty of fish in the sea. So how do you know if you’ve found the one that’s meant just for you? One sign that you’ve found your soulmate is by the contentment you feel in your relationship.
If you’ve played the dating field any, you know that there are good relationships and troubled ones, and sometimes no matter what you do, it just doesn’t feel right.
However, finding your person, the one who completes you and makes you feel whole, is not something that everyone encounters.
According to a study published by the Washington Post, around 55 percent of the population hasn’t found true love. These folks give up on the hunt, and they consider themselves forever single. One indication that you’ve struck gold is by the contentment you feel inside when you’re with this individual.
Ten Signs of Contentment in a Relationship
Perhaps you question if the person you are with is the one meant for you. Things are going well, even fantastic, and you’re afraid to take the next step. Here are ten signs of contentment in a relationship that you should observe.
If you find that you have these feelings and do these things, then you, my friend, have found a rare treasure in your partner.
You Put Their Needs Above Yours
When you love someone on a deep level, you automatically put their needs above yours.
For instance, there’s one piece of their favorite vanilla cake left from dinner. So, rather than eating this sweet treat, you decide to save it for them.
Sure, the cake isn’t a need, but you’re putting their wants and needs above your desires. You don’t get the dream home in suburbia because it makes their commute a bit too long, and you spend an extra bit at the grocery store so they can have the foods they need for their specific diet.
You have their best interests at heart, and you want to do right by them, even if it means it’s a sacrifice for you.
Arguments Are Few and Far Between
While a little bit of arguing and having disagreements can be healthy, those tiffs are few and far between your partner. You two go together like a sock and shoe, and even if there are things that you disagree on, you find a way to work through it without theatrics. You are so in sync that you think alike, and it leaves little room for spats.
By: Evelyn Oliver
What is a Christian quiet time? Quiet time is a time dedicated to one-on-one time with God and his word. It is meant to help us as Christians grow in our relationship with God. This can be through prayer or meditating on scripture.
Quiet time is an important component of any Christians’ walk with Christ. It matters that we have quiet time with the Lord and use it intentionally. Time set apart with the Lord with strengthen our relationship with him.
The Importance/Benefits of Quiet Time
Why is quiet time so important? Quiet time is an opportunity for us as believers to connect with God on a personal level.
The purpose and intent of quiet time are to create a stronger relationship. If you look at any relationship in your life, either with family or friends, they usually started off by getting to know one another, either asking questions of doing something together. It takes time to form relationships.
The same is true with God, spending time with him creates a stronger relationship with him. Quiet time has been called a number of different things, one-on-one time, heart-to-heart time, or personal devotions, but no matter the name, you are spending time with God.
Both quiet time and a stronger relationship with God have side effects. Items like decision making can become easier. Peace is more prevalent when spending more time with God and in his word. Often times God will speak to believers in quiet times when we are listening and focusing on God’s word.
When To Have Quiet Time
Practically carrying out quiet time can be a lot harder than it sounds like. In the busy world today quiet time is usually put on the back burner since it takes exactly what we seem to run out of, time.
Finding time to connect with God is important. Some people find that morning is a good time to dig into God’s word. Others find before bed works for them, or on lunch break.
It may be helpful when you first begin having a quiet time to schedule it into your week. Our lives are busy and often times we don’t dedicate ourselves to spending time alone with God.
What really matters with finding time for just you and God are components like a quieter setting, with few distractions. It is important to intentionally spend more than a couple of minutes of reading scripture.
Set aside time to spend with the Lord. Don’t rush it. Be present with Him.
What Should I Do During Quiet Time?
God can speak to his people in many ways, but one of the main ways in through his Word, the Bible. It is important to have scripture with you as you go into quiet time, and maybe even a specific book of the Bible to read through.
You could start with the gospels or Genesis. Since the Bible is one of the primary ways that God communicates with us, it should be a priority to invest in God’s word.
Meditating on the scripture is another powerful and useful way to spend quiet time. As believers, we can often read God’s word and forget to take time to grasp all that his word has to say. Meditating can help us to more completely understand what God is saying to us.
Worship music is another means to connect with God, it can help put your heart in the right place. Many worship songs highlight God’s promises, mighty works, and/or characteristics that help us connect with God.
Prayer is an important part of quiet time, prayer in the avenue in which to talk to God. Prayer includes praising God for all that he is. Praise also gives us the correct posture to have while we talk with the creator of all things.
Repenting is another aspect of pray and also extremely important, we can come to God with our sin and shame and he will forgive us. We can also bring our prayer request to God through prayer.
We can talk to him about our worries and problems day to day, and petition for others as well.
Journaling is another popular tool used during quiet time. Quiet time is a time to talk to God, many people write down what they observe from the scripture and hear from God.
Journaling helps some people process better and is also a great tool to help you remember in the future what God is doing in your life.
I would encourage you to try out these different things in your quiet time and find what works best for you.
What The Bible Says About Quiet Time
Quiet time is more than just a good suggestion for Christians, looking through scripture we can see the emphasis put on time spent with God and the fruits that come of this discipline.
James 4:8 says,
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.
When we spend intentional time with God we will be able to see the benefits because God will be drawing nearer to us in the process.
The psalms are full of scripture that displays the importance and outcome of spending time with God, Psalms 91:1 says “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.” Additionally, Psalms 119:9 says “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.”
Having time alone with God will strengthen our relationship with Him. We should be willing to spend time alone with God no matter what the hour.
By: Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Melinda Smith, M.A.
You already know that exercise is good for your body. But did you know it can also boost your mood, improve your sleep, and help you deal with depression, anxiety, stress, and more?
What are the mental health benefits of exercise?
Exercise is not just about aerobic capacity and muscle size. Sure, exercise can improve your physical health and your physique, trim your waistline, improve your sex life, and even add years to your life. But that’s not what motivates most people to stay active.
People who exercise regularly tend to do so because it gives them an enormous sense of well-being. They feel more energetic throughout the day, sleep better at night, have sharper memories, and feel more relaxed and positive about themselves and their lives. And it’s also a powerful medicine for many common mental health challenges.
Regular exercise can have a profoundly positive impact on depression, anxiety, and ADHD. It also relieves stress, improves memory, helps you sleep better, and boosts your overall mood. And you don’t have to be a fitness fanatic to reap the benefits. Research indicates that modest amounts of exercise can make a real difference. No matter your age or fitness level, you can learn to use exercise as a powerful tool to deal with mental health problems, improve your energy and outlook, and get more out of life.
Exercise and depression
Studies show that exercise can treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant medication—but without the side-effects, of course. As one example, a recent study done by the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health found that running for 15 minutes a day or walking for an hour reduces the risk of major depression by 26%. In addition to relieving depression symptoms, research also shows that maintaining an exercise schedule can prevent you from relapsing.
Exercise is a powerful depression fighter for several reasons. Most importantly, it promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, including neural growth, reduced inflammation, and new activity patterns that promote feelings of calm and well-being. It also releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good. Finally, exercise can also serve as a distraction, allowing you to find some quiet time to break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that feed depression.
Exercise and anxiety
Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment. It relieves tension and stress, boosts physical and mental energy, and enhances well-being through the release of endorphins. Anything that gets you moving can help, but you’ll get a bigger benefit if you pay attention instead of zoning out.
Try to notice the sensation of your feet hitting the ground, for example, or the rhythm of your breathing, or the feeling of the wind on your skin. By adding this mindfulness element—really focusing on your body and how it feels as you exercise—you’ll not only improve your physical condition faster, but you may also be able to interrupt the flow of constant worries running through your head.
Exercise and stress
Ever noticed how your body feels when you’re under stress? Your muscles may be tense, especially in your face, neck, and shoulders, leaving you with back or neck pain, or painful headaches. You may feel a tightness in your chest, a pounding pulse, or muscle cramps. You may also experience problems such as insomnia, heartburn, stomachache, diarrhea, or frequent urination. The worry and discomfort of all these physical symptoms can in turn lead to even more stress, creating a vicious cycle between your mind and body.
Exercising is an effective way to break this cycle. As well as releasing endorphins in the brain, physical activity helps to relax the muscles and relieve tension in the body. Since the body and mind are so closely linked, when your body feels better so, too, will your mind.
Exercise and ADHD
Exercising regularly is one of the easiest and most effective ways to reduce the symptoms of ADHD and improve concentration, motivation, memory, and mood. Physical activity immediately boosts the brain’s dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin levels—all of which affect focus and attention. In this way, exercise works in much the same way as ADHD medications such as Ritalin and Adderall.
Exercise and PTSD and trauma
Evidence suggests that by really focusing on your body and how it feels as you exercise, you can actually help your nervous system become “unstuck” and begin to move out of the immobilization stress response that characterizes PTSD or trauma. Instead of allowing your mind to wander, pay close attention to the physical sensations in your joints and muscles, even your insides as your body moves. Exercises that involve cross movement and that engage both arms and legs—such as walking (especially in sand), running, swimming, weight training, or dancing—are some of your best choices.
Outdoor activities like hiking, sailing, mountain biking, rock climbing, whitewater rafting, and skiing (downhill and cross-country) have also been shown to reduce the symptoms of PTSD.
July 25, 2022 in