December 25, 2021 in Blog by Dee

The Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others

By: Farnam Street

The most important things in life are internal not external.

“The big question about how people behave,” says Warren Buffett, “is whether they’ve got an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner scorecard.” To make his point, Buffett often asks a simple question: Would you rather be the world’s greatest lover, but have everyone think you’re the world’s worst lover? Or would you rather be the world’s worst lover but have everyone think you’re the world’s greatest lover?

Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behavior. This type of comparison is between you and someone else. Sometimes it’s about something genetic, like wishing to be taller, but more often it’s about something the other person is capable of doing that we wish we could do as well. Maybe Sally writes better reports than you, and maybe Bob has a happier relationship with his spouse than you do. Sometimes this comparison is motivating and sometimes it’s destructive.

You can be anything but you can’t be everything. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re often comparing their best features against our average ones. It’s like being right-handed and trying to play an instrument with your left hand. Not only do we naturally want to be better than them, the unconscious realization that we are not often becomes self-destructive.

Comparisons between people are a recipe for unhappiness unless you are the best in the world. Which, let’s be honest, only one person is. Not only are we unhappy but the other people are as well. They are probably comparing themselves to you—maybe you’re better at networking than they are and they’re jealous. At worst, when we compare ourselves to others we end up focusing our energy on bringing them down instead of raising ourselves up.

There is one thing that you’re better at than other people: being you. This is the only game you can really win.

When you start with this mindset the world starts to look better again. No longer are you focused on where you stand relative to others. Instead, your focus and energy is placed on what you’re capable of now and how you can improve yourself.

Life becomes about being a better version of yourself. And when that happens, your effort and energy go toward upgrading your personal operating system every day, not worrying about what your coworkers are doing. You become happier, free from the shackles of false comparisons and focused on the present moment.

When what you do doesn’t meet the expectations of others, too bad. The way they look at you is the same way you were looking at them, though a distorted lens shaped by experiences and expectations. What really matters is what you think about what you do, what your standards are, what you can learn today.

That’s not an excuse to ignore thoughtful opinions—other people might give you a picture of how you fall short of being your best self. Instead, it’s a reminder to compare yourself to who you were this morning. Are you better than you were when you woke up? If not, you’ve wasted a day. It’s less about others and more about how you improve relative to who you were.

When you stop comparing between people and focus internally, you start being better at what really matters: being you. It’s simple but not easy.

The most important things in life are measured internally. Thinking about what matters to you is hard. Playing to someone else’s scoreboard is easy, that’s why a lot of people do it. But winning the wrong game is pointless and empty. You get one life. Play your own game.

December 25, 2021 in Blog by Dee

3 Reasons Why It’s Important to Celebrate Yourself Everyday

By: Stefan James

I would like to share with you 3 reasons why it’s important to celebrate yourself every day. The reality is that we live in a fast-paced world. We are taught that “accomplishment” means getting as much done in a day as you possibly can. However, too many of us don’t take the time to reflect on our accomplishments. When was the last time that you stopped and took a moment to celebrate and reward yourself? If you struggle with this notion, you aren’t alone.

Oftentimes, self-promotion has been associated with arrogance. In his groundbreaking book, The Portable Coach: 28 Sure Fire Strategies For Business And Personal Success, Thomas Leonard shared his 28 Laws of Attraction. In # 7, Market Your Talents Shamelessly, he shares a brilliant distinction between confidence and arrogance. He says, “Confidence is knowing exactly what you do well and don’t do well; arrogance is a way to cover up what you don’t do well.” When you celebrate your successes, it will motivate you to achieve more, which in turn, will elevate your confidence even more.

As part of my morning ritual, I spend one minute every day celebrating my life, which puts me into a high vibrational state. When I do so, I experience an abundance of joy and fulfillment, which inspires me to do and achieve more. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” You deserve to have your accomplishments and unique personality be recognized. When you condition your mind for success, anything is possible. If you don’t celebrate yourself, then who will celebrate you?

Don’t wait until you’ve reached your goals to be proud of yourself. Celebrate every step along the way. Entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk acknowledges that he has a hard time celebrating wins because he “loves the climb.” However, if you are always focusing on ‘what is next’, then you will feel depleted. When you celebrate the small wins that you make, no matter how tough life gets, it will create the confidence and momentum that you need in order to keep going. According to an article in the Harvard Business Review, there is power in small wins, and it’s the fulfillment that comes from making progress on meaningful goals.

Here are 3 reasons why it’s important to celebrate yourself every day.

1. It Reminds Us To Enjoy the Journey
If you are constantly doing and not being, you will miss out on all the beautiful moments in life. Oftentimes, we take life too seriously and we become so attached to the final outcome that we forget to enjoy the journey. It’s great to be ambitious; however the key is to develop a mindset that allows you to pursue big things in life, without sacrificing the small things that make life worth living.

Take a moment every day, stop what you are doing, celebrate, and savor the moment. Life is not a race. When you learn to find joy in the journey, the destination feels all the more worthwhile. When was the last time that you stopped to ‘smell the roses’, so to speak?

2. It Reminds Us To Be Grateful
Gratitude is the key to living a happy and fulfilled life. It is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to ourselves. Celebrating yourself means taking the time to be genuinely grateful for your life. Unfortunately, it is easy to lose touch with gratitude. A lot of people are so focused on celebrating the highs of life, that they tend to lose sight of the small things in life that bring them the most joy. Celebrating your life every day is a way to develop an attitude of gratitude that can shift your entire perspective on life.

Research by Dr. Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California shows that those who celebrate life by practicing gratitude tend to be more creative, bounce back more quickly from adversity, have a stronger immune system, and have stronger social relationships than those who don’t. There are too many benefits to count. What are you grateful for? Celebrate your blessings every day and watch your life change for the better.

3. It Increases Our Confidence
Many of us have limiting beliefs about ourselves in at least one area of our lives, which results in a decrease in confidence. The more that you celebrate yourself, the more your confidence raises. When you do so, you are telling the Universe that you are unstoppable, which in turn, attracts more positive energy into your life. Not only that, but when you radiate confidence, it inspires others to be confident as well. Don’t ever hold back. Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. You step into your power when you are able to master this skill. Are you ready to own your amazingness?

These are 3 reasons why it’s important to celebrate yourself every day. When you take time every day to acknowledge the little actions that you are taking towards the achievement of your goals, you strengthen those actions. In what ways can you acknowledge yourself today? Take a moment and think about what you have accomplished. To love yourself means to celebrate the very existence of who you are. Hold yourself in high regard. You deserve it.