October 10, 2019 in Blog by Dee

Understanding Your Teen’s Emotional Health

By: Familydoctor.org

The teenage years are a time of transition from childhood into adulthood. Teens often have a strong desire to be independent. So they may struggle with still being dependent on their parents. They may also feel overwhelmed by the emotional and physical changes they are going through.

At the same time, teens may be facing a number of pressures:

Fitting in at school and among friends.
Doing well in school and making good grades.
Excelling in activities such as sports.
Participating as a member of the family.
Working a part-time job.
Preparing for college or their next step in life after high school.

The teenage years are important as your child asserts his or her individuality. Many parents wonder what they can do to help their teenager.

Path to Improved Well Being
Communicating your love for your child is the single most important thing you can do to help them during their teenage years. Children decide how they feel about themselves in large part by how their parents react to them. For this reason, it’s important for parents to help their children feel good about themselves. You can do this by:

Building their confidence and self-esteem.  Praise them—and be specific. Tell them exactly why you are impressed or proud of them. Spend time with them, and let them know how much you value them.

Supporting them emotionally.  Encourage them to talk to you. Listen and help them understand their feelings.

Providing them safety and security.  Give them unconditional love.  Maintain routines so they feel secure. Make sure they know home is a safe place for them.

Teaching them resiliency. Teach your child how to make it through the tough times. Help them cope with change, manage stress, and learn from setbacks.

It is also important to communicate your values with your child. Set expectations and limits for him or her. These could include insisting on honesty, self-control, and respect for others at all times. At the same time, allow your teenager to have their own space and be their own person.

Parents of teens often find themselves noticing only the problems. They may get in the habit of giving mostly negative feedback and criticism. Teens need feedback, but they respond better to positive feedback. Remember to praise appropriate behavior. This will help your teen feel a sense of accomplishment and reinforce your family’s values.

Establishing a loving relationship from the start can help you and your child through the bumpy teenage years.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) suggests the following ways for parents to prepare for their child’s teenage years:

Provide a safe and loving home environment.
Create an atmosphere of honesty, trust and respect.
Allow age-appropriate independence and assertiveness.
Develop a relationship that encourages your teen to talk to you when he or she is upset.
Teach responsibility for your teen’s belongings and yours.
Teach basic responsibility for household chores.
Teach the importance of accepting limits.

Things to Consider
Remember that your teen may experiment when trying to define himself or herself. They may change their values, ideas, hairstyles, or clothing in order to do this. This is typically normal behavior. You shouldn’t be concerned. However, inappropriate or destructive behavior can be a sign of a problem.

Some teens are at risk for a number of self-destructive behaviors. These teens often have low self-esteem or family problems. They may experiment with using drugs or alcohol, or having unprotected sex. Depression and eating disorders are other common health issues that teens face. The following may be warning signs that your child is having a problem:

Agitated or restless behavior.
Weight loss or gain.
A drop in grades.
Trouble concentrating.
Ongoing feelings of sadness.
Not caring about people and things.
Lack of motivation.
Fatigue, loss of energy, and lack of interest in activities.
Low self-esteem.
Trouble falling asleep.
Run-ins with the law.

What Should I Do if There is a Problem?
Work together to maintain open communication. If you suspect there is a problem, ask your teen about what is bothering him or her. Don’t ignore a problem in the hopes that it will go away. It is easier to cope with problems when they are small. This also gives you and your teen the opportunity to learn how to work through problems together. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with dealing with your teen. Many resources, including your family doctor, are available.

Questions to Ask Your Doctor
What can I do to keep my teenager emotionally healthy?
Is my teenager’s behavior normal?
What signs should I look for if I think my teenager might be having problems?
I have low self-esteem and am depressed. Is my child more likely to develop those same problems?
Does my teenager need to see a therapist or a psychiatrist?
Does my teenager need medicine?
Will my teenager “grow out” of these behaviors?

October 10, 2019 in Blog by Dee

Homework and Study Habits: Tips for Kids and Teenagers

By: Child Development Institute

Certain key practices will make life easier for everyone in the family when it comes to studying and organization. However, some of the methods may require an adjustment for other members of the family.

Turn off the TV. Make a house rule, depending on the location of the screen, that when it is study time, it is “no TV” time. A running tv will draw kids like bees to honey.

What about the radio or other audio devices? Should it be on or off? Contrary to what many specialists say, some kids do seem to function well with the radio turned on to a favorite music station. (Depending on the layout of your house or apartment, maybe an investment in earbuds would be worthy of consideration.)

Set specific rules about using cell phones during study hours. For instance, use of a cell phone can only occur if it becomes necessary to call a schoolmate to confirm an assignment or discuss particularly challenging homework.

Designate specific areas for homework and studying. Possibilities include the kitchen, dining room, or your child’s bedroom. Eliminate as much distraction as possible. Since many kids will study in their rooms, the function becomes more important than beauty. Most desks for kids don’t have enough space to spread out materials. A table that allows for all necessary supplies such as pencils, pens, paper, books, and other essentials works exceptionally well. Consider placing a bulletin board in your child’s room above the desk. Your local hardware store may sell wallboard that is inexpensive and perfect to post essential school items. You may decide to paint or cover it with burlap to improve its appearance or let your child take on this project. Keeping general supplies on hand is important. Check with your child about his or her needs. Make it his/her responsibility to be well supplied with paper, pencils, notepads, etc. Encourage the use of a notebook for writing down assignments so there is no confusion about when they must be turned in to the teacher.

Consistency is a critical factor in academic success. Try to organize the household so that dinner is at a regular hour, and once it’s over, it’s time to crack the books. If your child doesn’t have other commitments and gets home reasonably early from school, some homework completion can occur before dinner.

Consider your child’s developmental level when setting the amount of time for homework. While high school students can focus for over an hour, first-graders are unlikely to last more than 15 minutes on a single task. Allow your child to take breaks, perhaps as a reward for finishing a section of the work.

Organize study and homework projects. Get a large dry erase calendar — one that allows space for jotting things down in the daily boxes. Have your child use different bold colored dry erase markers to write exam dates, reports that are coming due, etc. This will serve as a reminder so that assignments aren’t set aside until the last minute.

Teach your child that studying is more than just doing homework assignments. One of the most misunderstood aspects of schoolwork is the difference between studying and doing homework assignments. Encourage your child to do things such as:

Take notes as he’s/she’s reading a chapter.

Learn to skim material.

Learn to study tables and charts.

Learn to summarize what he/she has read in his/her own words.

Learn to make his/her own flashcards for a quick review of dates, formulas, spelling words, etc.

Note-taking is a critical skill and needs development. Many students don’t know how to take notes in classes that require them. Some feel they have to write down every word the teacher says. Others have wisely realized the value of an outline form of note-taking. Well prepared teachers present their material in a format that lends itself to outline form note taking.

Should notes ever be rewritten?  In some cases, they should be, particularly if there is a lot of covered material. Sometimes a child has to write quickly but lacks speed and organization. Rewriting notes takes time, but it can be an excellent review of the subject matter. However, rewriting notes isn’t worth the time unless they are useful for review and recall of valuable information.

Help your child to feel confident about taking tests. Test taking can be a traumatic experience for some students. Explain to your child that burning the midnight oil (cramming) the night before a test isn’t productive. It’s better to get a good night’s sleep.  Students also need reminding that when taking a test, they should thoroughly and carefully read the directions before they haphazardly start to mark their test papers. They should be advised to skip over questions for which they don’t know the answers — they can always return to those if there’s time. Good advice for any student before taking a test: take a deep breath, relax, and dive in. Always bring an extra pencil just in case.

During a homework session, watch for signs of frustration. No learning can take place and little can be accomplished if your child is angry or upset over an assignment that is too long or too difficult. At such times, you may have to step in and halt the homework for that night, offering to write a note to the teacher explaining the situation and perhaps requesting a conference to discuss the quality and length of homework assignments.

Should parents help with homework? Yes — if it’s productive to do so, such as calling out spelling words or checking a math problem that won’t prove. No — if it’s something your child can handle himself and learn from the process. Help and support should always be calm and cheerful. Grudging help is worse than no help at all! Read directions, or check over math problems after your child has completed the work. Remember to make positive comments — you don’t want your child to associate homework with fights at home.