August 10, 2019 in Blog by Dee

Why Confidence Is So Important (and How to Improve Yours)

By: Eric Ravenscraft

“Have confidence!” is one of the most essential pieces of advice you’ll receive in life that makes no sense if you’ve never done it. You know what confident people look like, the advantages they get, and that it’s something worth emulating. How do you get there, though?

What is Confidence Anyway?

In the purest sense, confidence is knowing what you’re good at, the value you provide, and acting in a way that conveys that to others. Contrast this with arrogance which typically involves believing you are better in a particular area than you are, or low self-esteem which involves believing you’re less valuable than you think. The closer your self-assessment is to that reality in the middle, and the more you behave accordingly, the closer you are to displaying healthy confidence.

Why does this definition matter?

Because if you want to raise your confidence to a level that helps (rather than harms) you, it’s important to know what you’re aiming for. Blindly thinking positive won’t necessarily help, and it’s possible to go too far. In some cases, the latter is referred to as the Dunning-Kruger effect. Namely, it’s when someone overestimates their own abilities, displaying more confidence than their skill level deserves.

What Does it Matter?

Confidence is one of those traits that can become an ethereal ideal that we all think is good, but ask us to point to the specific reasons why anyone should want it and we can only point to vague hypotheticals. Fortunately, science has our back. Here are just a few ways that tangibly improving your own self-confidence manifests in real world benefits.

Confidence Can Be More Important Romantically Than Physical Attractiveness

A study published by the International Journal of Cosmetic Science showed that giving men some cologne improved their confidence enough to be rated as visibly more attractive in photographs. Similarly, researchers at Webster University found something as simple as a confident, direct smile from a woman was enough to catch the attention of a potential date.

The importance of confidence in romantic relationships doesn’t end at the dating phase, either. Research published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology showed that men in particular can have a tendency to feel worse about themselves or their relationship when their partner has a higher level of success. Of course, the moral there shouldn’t be that women should succeed less, but rather that, in those situations, men must work harder on improving their own confidence level.

Confidence Early In Life Can Mean Upwards Mobility at Work

It shouldn’t be a surprise that being more confident at work can mean more promotions. However, a pilot study at the University of Melbourne found some correlation between confidence levels as early as primary school and success in the workplace as adults.

This doesn’t just apply to the workplace, either. A study by the University of Texas showed that students who received some expression of confidence in their ability—even while receiving criticism—performed better later on than those who were simply told to aim for higher standards.

The Real Things You Can Actually Do to Improve Confidence

Talking about confidence is about as useful as explaining quantum mechanics via interpretive dance. It takes a minute to understand the difference between confidence and arrogance. If you have a confidence problem, what can you actually do about it? “Be better,” isn’t practical advice, so what can you do to practice?

Work out: The effects of working out on your confidence are so overwhelming that it can’t be understated. When you exercise, your body releases a cocktail of endorphins that make you feel pretty good as is. When you’re done, you have tangible proof that you’ve done something constructive and everything in your body is programmed to second that response. If you keep at it long-term, the results of a healthier body become more and more visible.

Research how to dress better: If you’ve never taken steps to assess and improve your wardrobe, you may not realize the dramatic effect it can have on your confidence level. Everything from the style of your shirts to the color of your glasses frames affects how people view you. When how you appear is in sync with how you want people to view you, confidence can easily follow.

Learn power poses: Much of how our mind works can be affected by what our body is doing. Ohio State University has done research that standing in certain positions—such as with outstretched arms or fists in the air—can increase testosterone levels and help us feel more confident.

Explain something you understand well. Everyone has something they understand on an above average level. Maybe you have intricate knowledge of UPS shipping paths (and can explain why it takes three days for my package to get from Tennessee to Georgia). Maybe you have some deep insight into which type of 401k will get you the best return on your investment.

Fix things you don’t like about yourself: As much as it might hurt to say, sometimes the problem isn’t your attitude or your emotions. Sometimes you need to change some things. This doesn’t have to mean you’re a bad person or not good at things, but it does mean that if you want to be more confident in a particular area, the best way to do so is to get better. Feel crappy because you can’t play the guitar? Practice. Do conversations about politics or economics make you feel unintelligent? Read up about it. Ask for help, even. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know something, but pretending you do when you don’t won’t help your confidence.

Underneath it all, most of these tricks all center around one theme: making you feel better about doing things you’re good at or who you are. There’s no surefire pattern that will make you 100% confident overnight, but if you work at it, it can pay off.

August 10, 2019 in Blog by Dee

What Happens When You Fast? 4 Spiritual Benefits

By: Jessica Galán

Desiring spiritual breakthrough this year? Hoping this year will bring a loved one’s complete surrender to Christ? You might want to consider fasting and prayer.

For those of us who long for spiritual intimacy with the Father, fasting and prayer affords us the opportunity to do so. Here are four spiritual benefits fasting can bring.

Fasting Leads to Greater Intimacy

We deny our carnal nature in order to fulfill the desires of God. What He wills for our lives can be found through fasting and prayer.

Our spirit and soul experiences joy because of fasting. It’s a decision to momentarily die to our flesh to fulfill the greater things of a mighty God who seeks us.

“The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast in that day, {Mark 2:20}.

Know that the sacrificial elements of fasting always incurs eternal benefits. There are those we want to win for Christ this year. Our temporary physical discomfort has spiritual rewards.

We Surrender Our Comfort to Gain Spiritual Clarity

Our 21st century culture can lead us to becoming numb to what matters to God, yet praying through a fast challenges and sharpens our spiritual discernment.

We can fast from things: social media, television, food, even a negative mindset.
We can fast for things: those yet surrendered to Christ, our local church, and our neighborhoods.
We gain wisdom and guidance through fasting. We are able to discern the will of God through fasting and deep prayer.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,” {Romans 12:2}.

Opens Our Hearts to Spiritual Revival

We kindle Holy Spirit fire as we fast and pray. We become change agents and intercessors for the broken and hurting during a fast. Our hearts are revived and refreshed spiritually because of it.

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem…and to the end of the earth,” {Acts 1:8}.

Empowerment flows when we pray and fast. We are that much more able to press into the greatest commission of all—gaining souls for an eternal harvest, (see Matthew 28).

Prayer and Fasting Breaks Satanic Strongholds

When Jesus’s disciples were unable to deliver a young boy of an evil spirit, Jesus told them, “This kind cannot come out, except by prayer,” (see Mark 9:29). Praying while fasting positions us victoriously.

Through deep prayer we can combat spiritual opposition and satanic strongholds.

When difficulties arise, Christ-Followers have the ability to harness the potential of the Holy Spirit through fasting and prayer.

Our barren hearts are refreshed and revived when we fast and pray. We are better equipped to dealing with the momentary trials we’ll face on earth because we’re aligned with God, his angels, and the power of the Holy Spirit.

“Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness…to let the oppressed go free and to break every yoke?” {Isaiah 58:6}.

Easing Your Way into a Fast

If you’ve never fasted before, begin slowly. For those with dietary constraints, fast from social media or other comforts unrelated to food.

Begin by skipping one or two daily meals; replace food with prayer and petitions.
Write the names of loved ones who you’re fasting for in a journal or prayer card.
Come out of a fast gradually by eating broths and vegetables; don’t consume rich or heavy foods immediately.
Celebrate spiritual breakthroughs when they arrive; trust that God sees and hears your earnest prayer and sacrifice.

St. Augustine of Hippo once said, “BY THE HELP of the merciful Lord our God, the temptations of the world, the snares of the Devil, the suffering of the world, the enticement of the flesh, the surging waves of troubled times, and all corporeal and spiritual adversities are to be overcome by … fasting and prayer.”

When We Deny our Flesh, our Spiritually Cravings are Fortified.

Fasting and sacrificial prayer will not go in vain. It will always benefit those in your immediate circle and in the lives of Christ-followers in your community.

Let God be good to you through fasting and prayer in this new season of your life. As Psalm 34:8 declares to us all, “O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him, (KJV).