February 9, 2019 in Blog by Dee

9 Powerful Ways to Find Peace of Mind

By: Steve Mueller

The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom and peace of mind.
Melchor Lim

The mind is like an ocean. For most people, the mind is constantly moving, just like water, without ever coming to a rest. It is stirred up by our restless and rushing thoughts, just like waves on the shore. Our desires and fears do not only disturb us, but they also prohibit us from finding peace of mind. Just like the wind, our thoughts and anxieties can lead to a stormy ocean, without allowing us to rest. The mind, however, in itself is neutral, just like water. If you are able to reduce the influence of your thoughts on your mind, you will create a calm sea. The following will show you the most powerful ways to find peace of mind—a mental state so calm and peaceful just like the water at the deepest ground of the ocean.

Our mental calmness depends highly on our ability to calm our thoughts. You won’t be able to calm the ocean by grasping the water in the hope that it won’t move. It simply does not work. Instead, it is necessary to address the root of the problem, which is the wind, or in our case our fears, desires, and thoughts. You will have to stop the impact of the wind on the ocean if you want a calm sea. We need to learn to control these emotions and thoughts so that our mental state is unaffected by it. For this to work properly we need to control and strengthen our attention.

What Is the Mental State Called Peace of Mind?
In general, the term ‘a peaceful mind’ is used to describe a mental state in which mental and emotional calmness prevail. It is a state where your mind is not stirred up by anxieties and worries. The mental activity is phased down so that quietness and calmness can be experienced. Instead of being troubled by the past or future your point of focus lies at this present moment, you’re living in the now.

We all have experienced this fantastic mental state, for instance during a vacation or while being deeply absorbed by an amazing book. During this state, we were not troubled by our worries and thoughts. Instead, our mind was calm—we had found inner peace.

How to Find Peace of Mind?
The following will present you the most effective and powerful ways to establish peace of mind. Some of it might be unconventional, but if you keep an open mind about it, your mental calmness will benefit greatly from it.

1. Meditation
If you want to create the proper foundation to establish long-lasting peace of mind, then there’s no way around meditation. In fact, if someone were to ask me, “What is the most powerful way to create peace of mind?” I would recommend meditation without the shadow of a doubt. It is simply the most effective thing you can do.

According to neuroscientists, the continued practice of meditation can effect beneficial changes in the physical structure of your brain. This re-shaping of the brain’s structure helps to activate the part of the nervous system that is responsible for rest, allowing us to better cope with stress. Furthermore, meditation reduces stress and strengthens your ability to sustain attention. Researchers at the University of Massachusetts Medical School also found that meditation can dramatically reduce anxiety. The study highlighted that 90% of the participants, who all suffered from clinical levels of anxiety, experienced significant reductions in their anxiety levels.

But how can you make use of meditation to find inner peace and harmony? All you need is 15-30 minutes a day for the following mindfulness meditation:

Sit with eyes closed, either on a cushion or a chair.
Make sure your back is straight.
Focus your attention on your breathing.
Be aware of the breath as it goes in and out.
Redirect your focus back if your mind starts wandering.
You can start with a relatively short period of only 10 minutes or so per day. Doing so will help you to get adjusted to this new exercise. You’ll also notice that after some time of regular practice it will become a lot easier for you to focus on your breathing activity.

2. Eliminate certain media distractions
Media consumption can cause great turbulence within our mind. These media distractions range from television, radio, newspapers and magazines to video games and music. They all have in common that certain types within these media categories can heavily affect your mental state in a negative way.

Take for instance an action thriller that you’re watching shortly before going to bed. You will notice that your mind is completely restless after the film has ended. It will spontaneously pick up random thoughts or ponder about the plot of the movie. There’s absolutely no peace of mind to be gained from watching such a movie. Watching television has also been linked to feelings of loneliness and depression by researchers from the University of Texas.

If you’re really serious about establishing inner harmony it’s important to avoid certain media distractions at any costs:

Avoid certain types of movies, i.e. horror, thriller, etc.
Reduce television time, or stop watching TV entirely, for the greatest benefits.
Avoid the news on TV or in the newspaper, 90% of it is negative anyway.
Stay away from aggressive music.
Stop playing video games.
As we are already on the subject, the following should also be avoided:

Avoid being dragged into heavily emotional discussions about recent political and societal developments. Discussing it will not solve the problem, but it will heavily affect your ability to find peace of mind.
Stay away from negative people and negative conversations.
Learn to accept the things that cannot be changed. Worrying about it or even getting upset about it will do nothing to solve the issue, but it will waste your precious time and energy.
The above-mentioned tactics to maintain inner harmony are only recommendations. If you are willing to avoid these distractions your mental state will greatly benefit from it.

3. Learn to forgive
Far too often we hold grudges. This emotional baggage accumulates over time and becomes a heavy burden that we carry on our shoulders wherever we go.

It is important to realize that we cannot make the things that happened undone. Holding on to your anger will only burn you from the inside, not to mention the fact that it will prohibit you from ever finding peace of mind. For this reason, it is so important to learn to forgive another.

Forgiveness is crucial to maintaining inner harmony. It will help you to let go of anger and inner turmoil. Being able to forgive will help you to let go of the pain. Plus, scientists have shown that forgiveness facilitates forgetting, an important skill when you want to establish inner harmony.

4. Let go of the past
The past haunts every one of us from time to time. Thinking about everything that happened and the mistakes you’ve made in the past over and over again will cause great turmoil within your mind. For this very reason, it is so important not to dwell on the past. You cannot change the past. However, you always have the chance to change your situation in this present moment.

Let bygones be gone. Learn to avoid the evocation of heavily emotional and unpleasant memories of the past. Try to focus your attention on the present situation.

5. Cultivate patience and tolerance
Many times daily we encounter people who do things that we do not approve of. In almost all cases we get so fed up with their behavior that it causes a great and angry storm within our mind.

Learn to be patient and tolerant of these people. As long as they don’t hurt anybody else it shouldn’t affect your mental well-being. Don’t allow them to get more attention than they deserve. Most likely you won’t be able to change them anyway, so why allow them to disrupt your peace of mind.

6. Cultivate a certain level of detachment
A certain degree of mental and emotional detachment can be of the greatest importance when it comes to establishing inner peace and harmony.

You’ll notice that there are so many people who get easily offended even by the slightest stimuli. They start complaining about the most ridiculous things, write angry letters or let off steam on Internet forums. Don’t be one of them. Learn the important skill of not being offended by everything and everyone.

A great level of inner calmness can be attained by detaching yourself from things that are simply not worth your attention.

7. Take a walk
Go out in nature and take a walk through your nearest park. The sensation of walking through nature will not only ground you, but it will also help you to calm your mind down. Taking a walk is highly effective, but most people sadly seem to have forgotten its benefits.

8. Volunteer your time
Helping someone else can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. Knowing that you’ve made someone’s life worth living will give you not only an incredible boost, but it will also help you to find inner harmony and peace. In fact, scientific research has shown that volunteering has a great impact on your psychological well-being and your health.

9. Don’t worry about what others are thinking
Another source for mental restlessness can be the fear of other people’s judgment. It might even haunt us so much that we do things we’d rather not do, just to please someone else. However, it is nearly impossible to be everybody’s darling. In fact, you cannot change the way people think about you. So why bother about it?

The ability to be not affected by other people’s opinion will greatly help you to find peace of mind in daily life.

In conclusion:
Peace of mind can be established by cultivating the skill of not being affected by your thoughts and worries. This skill can be developed for instance through mindfulness meditation, but also other activities that strengthen your ability to focus. It is also important to learn to let go of the past, to forgive others and to develop a certain degree of detachment in order to create the necessary foundation for inner harmony and balance.

February 9, 2019 in Blog by Dee

11 Secrets to Choosing the Right Friends

By:
Stacia Pierce – Contributor Life coach, career expert and CEO, Ultimate Lifestyle Enterprises

Do you know that you can accurately predict where you’ll be five years from now? You can easily know where you’ll be going, what you’ll be doing, and what your income level will be. If you want to know how, the answer is simple: by the company you keep.

Do you know that you can accurately predict where you’ll be five years from now? You can easily know where you’ll be going, what you’ll be doing, and what your income level will be. If you want to know how, the answer is simple: by the company you keep. The people you associate with have a major impact and influence on your personal success. You can tell where most people are going to end up in life simply based on who they hang around.

It is likely that your income level is in the same range as that of your closest friends. You talk about the same topics and you usually hang out at the same places. In many cases, you may discover that you’re reading the same books… or none of you are reading at all.

Although your five closest friends are your best buds, you have to evaluate your relationships when you are ready to make a change for the better. Relationships are like elevators; they are either bringing you up or taking you down. Every connection isn’t meant for the long haul… sometimes we find ourselves holding on toxic relationships that expired years earlier. This is why it is so important to make the right relationship choices. For your long-term success, you simply must choose the right friends. Here are some secrets to doing so:

1. Associate higher. If you are focused on taking your life/career/business to the next level, then why not associate with people on that next level? Doing this will help expand your mind to greater possibilities. It is natural to feel most comfortable with people who are like you, and that’s OK. However, now and then it’s good to step outside of your comfort zone and spend time with friends who can expose you to greater things, new information and a higher level of living. If you value these friendships, you will soon find yourself advancing too.

2. Choose friends with similar values. While diversity is great in many ways, when it comes to your general values and beliefs, it’s best to keep core friendships with like-minded people. While you can respect others’ opinions and differences, choosing friends that hold similar values to yours will keep you from compromising or being negatively influenced by those that don’t uphold your values and the standards that you govern your life by. When friends have similar values, they can help keep each other accountable.

3. Choose friends with common goals. I like to call these your purpose partners. When you have friends with common goals, particularly as an entrepreneur, you can push each other. You can work on your goals together and encourage each other in reaching them.

4. Choose friends who can bring balance in areas where you are weaker. We all have our strengths and weaknesses — you know what yours are. With the right friends, you can tap into the talents, skills and abilities of those that have expertise in areas that you don’t. Maybe you aren’t the best at keeping your closet organized, but you have a friend that loves organizing — enlist her help! You might be a great writer and can offer assistance to a friend that is updating her resume. When you utilize each other’s strengths, everyone wins.

5. Choose friends that stretch, motivate and encourage you. These types of friends are also great purpose partners. No one wants a friend that is negative or down all the time. It’s usually the people that are uplifting and positive that we naturally want to be around. Which category do your friends fall into? What do your conversations with them sound like? The best types of friends will be there to offer a listening ear and help you put a positive spin on any situation.

6. Choose friends that share the same interests. Friends with similar interests simply make life more fun. You can enjoy outings and activities together. Whether it’s sports, music, performing arts or food, when you share interests, you can get out and do things together. You have someone to visit new places and enjoy new experiences with.

7. Choose friends that have a thirst for knowledge. Life is about learning, growing and advancing. With friends like this, you can learn from each other. It’s always great to have a friend who can recommend a good book or share information with you to help you on your path. Friends who are avid readers are usually great conversationalists and fun to talk to as well.

8. Choose friends who you can be purpose partners with. By now, you have noticed that this term keeps coming up. To further expand on it, a purpose partner is someone who you can share your goals and dreams with, and they will encourage you toward achieving them. When you tell your purpose partners what you intend to do, they can help you stay accountable to following through. Allow them to check in on you and ask you about your progress — and do the same for them.

9. Choose friends who will celebrate your success. You want friends that celebrate you, not just tolerate you. A true friend will celebrate every milestone, accomplishment and success story on your journey. They will be genuinely happy to see you succeed and be the first to say “congratulations!” Friends like this can be rare so when you find them, keep them close!

10. Choose friends who are “get-it” people. Get-it people are serious about their goals and serious about success. They don’t treat life casually or waste time on frivolous pursuits. They take fast action and get things done. If you consider yourself a get-it person, it’s important that you have friends who operate the same way.

11. Give what you expect to get. Every friendship is a give-and-take. If you expect great friends, you first have to be one yourself. If you live by the Golden Rule of treating others as you would want to be treated, then you won’t be disappointed — you will find your friendships fulfilling and rewarding.

Take some time to evaluate your relationships. Do your friends meet the criteria above? Can you call any of them your purpose partners? If so, then great! If not, then it’s time to branch out and start establishing some new relationships. With the secrets above, you can boost the quality of your relationships and your long-term success.